So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize