I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
