Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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