Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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