my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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