It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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