I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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