Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
