Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so explain again why im purple
no
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i now understand why vodka
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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