Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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