Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
