i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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