blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
