Come see our sink grown plant.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
