Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
