This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
