I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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