i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
