Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize