and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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