just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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