I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
