Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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