I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
