Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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