What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
