im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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