I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
