The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
