She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
