they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
