it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
