if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nicole vs. Life
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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