I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I pour the whiskey from now on
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
