yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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