So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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