My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
