you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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