I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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