Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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