My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
