I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
