If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
