you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
