she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wear drunk well.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
