didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
