just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
