His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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