guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
