I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
