everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize