This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
