I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
