its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
