I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
