I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
