and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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