she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I currently don't understand fingers.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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